He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
