Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
