I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
