Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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