She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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