why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize