I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
