just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
