So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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