This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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