Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize