I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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