I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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