I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
