Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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