Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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