if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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