Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize