i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
