So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
