I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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