I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
as a side note pls kill me
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