So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
