And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
