she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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