I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
tell me about the eggs
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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