You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i think im in europe. pls send help
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
