You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize