So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
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we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
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Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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