i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
