Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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