i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
