i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
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Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
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The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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