idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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