Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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