I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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