What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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