i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just want to make out with him forever
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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