It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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