You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
