Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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