So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
