Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize