I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
