Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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