I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
