Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
