dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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