She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I intend to get homeless drunk
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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