I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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