i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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