I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
