I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
