He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
