Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
