Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
